Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
