So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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