So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
