He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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