is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
