I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
