Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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