may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
