Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Randomize
