Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize