I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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