Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
