You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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