Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
