we have officially lost it.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
