9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You pole danced in your parka.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
