He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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