Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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