Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
