Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
