We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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