what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
