his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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