Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
