Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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