I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
