I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
