No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
