shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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