we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
