Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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