I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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