I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
