ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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