i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
