Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
