Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
