i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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