I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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