"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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