I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
