No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize