some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize