11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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