Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
