So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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