I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
