She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
