Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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