You don't have asthma, your pregnant
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
