So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
