Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
there's paper in my vomit.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
