Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm at about main and main street
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
