Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
