I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
