hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
