i think i have herpe
just one?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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