I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
