Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
