u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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