Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
