i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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