On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
