either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
