man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
