I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
