I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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