i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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