theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
