Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
