Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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