Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
