yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
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