i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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