Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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