Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
