Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
