Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
