I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
