Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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