if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
