And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
