bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize