every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
